Gamer Girlfriends: 5 Tips To Avoid A "Game Over" Relationship

At first it's cute. "He has a hobby that helps him relax after work," you think ever-so naively. You quickly learn that gaming is more of a lifestyle than a past time to the serious Gamer.

As the 3-year girlfriend of a Gamer whose status lies between "core" and "casual," here are a few tips I've gathered that will help keep your relationship and your guy's Gamer Score intact.

1. Find a game you can enjoy together.Even if you have laughable hand-eye coordination, your man will appreciate any effort you make to learn about the world that is important to him. Try a multi-player game that other friends can join in on like "Guitar Hero World Tour" and "Rockband 2" on either Xbox360 or the Playstation 3. Plus, you'll get to play and sing some of your favorite songs. Sports games on the Wii like boxing, tennis and baseball are a lot of fun and good exercise. (Try not to get too discouraged when the Wii evaluates your fitness level and tries to tell you that you have the skills of an 85-year-old). You can also re-visit the characters you remember from childhood with Mario Party and Super Smash Bros that involve racing and, of course, smashing. Or ask him to play something simple for starters like "Battleship" or "Scrabble." If you want to dive right in and really impress your BF, try your hand at the mother of all shooting games "Halo 3" or the new "Halo ODST." Your skills will improve with practice. You might even be able to beat him down someday!
2. Create your own avatar. This is the ultimate in taking ownership of your individual gaming identity. On the Wii you can create a "Mii" that looks like like you and will be the character that you use when playing games. On the Xbox360, you can design several different outfits--including cute accessories--for your avatar to wear and change their look to suit your current real-life mood. An avatar allows you to have a separate identity from your guy's avatar, which is good on two levels. He won't complain about you bringing his scores down AND you can play with and/or against each other depending on the game.
3. Bribe him with food! Gamers can play for 10-plus hours without eating and, surprisingly, without realizing they haven't eaten. Never, I repeat, NEVER unplug the console/computer to get their attention or prove a point! This will cause unwanted mayhem and you will immediately regret the decision once you see the disappointment, frustration, sadness and anger in their eyes. Use more subtle, sneakier tactics like home-cooked meals (or beer!) to steal their interest. At the very least they will show interest in the delicious smell of something you're cooking. Or, to trick them into leaving the house you could suggest taking a break to go to a favorite restaurant or fast food place. You can also set mutually agreed upon time limits before they start playing to avoid arguments. Gentle reminders every 4 hours or so can also be helpful in keeping your boyfriend in touch with reality.
4. Get your own hobby. It shows empathy, compromise and bravery to get involved in your man's unfamiliar gaming world. Plus, most guys think it's downright sexy when a girl knows her way around a controller. However, having something to call your own--whether it's school, travel, intramural sports or some form of self expression--is healthy in any relationship. Giving each other space to pursue individual interests makes the time you spend together more enjoyable and meaningful. Sometimes they just need to shoot stuff to feel better and sometimes reading a book or going for a walk alone is just what you'll need to feel at ease in your world. If you're busy doing something he's not involved in while he's busy gaming he might start to express interest in what you're doing. It's a nice feeling to be doing something separately but still be together in the same room.
5. Appreciate the value of the game. Once you get past the initial hatred of the games that are sucking precious hours from your boyfriend's life, you can open yourself up to truly enjoying them. Or at least tolerating them. If you decide playing is not for you, at least appreciate the sheer artistic beauty that many newer games have. Some of them look and sound like movies and you can ask questions about the back story to learn while building commonality with your guy. Most games have intricate story lines, complex characters and deep histories that go back decades. Also, playing some of these games is like being part of history yourself. New technologies are providing unique ways of interacting with friends in your living room and and around the world simultaneously.

Admittedly, it is extremely exciting to be part of something that brings millions of people, from all walks of life, together all day, every day. Despite the constant complaints of their girlfriends. But, we're working on improving that too.